Day 105: Stars&Dinosaurs&AsianBrides&NEW GOALS

I'm getting close to being 1/3 of the way into this project. I'm pretty damned happy with my progress. Even if I'm only really progressing in one area. LOL. But fashion design was the goal that was most important to me sooooo, no complaints here!

Accomplishments & A short love letter to the Internet

Song of the Day: Good Day - The Dresden Dolls

My mood in a gif:

 I don't know if words can do justice to how I'm feeling right now, but I am positively GIDDY with excitement. In case you don't know, Pink Lightning is my DREAM. It is my baby, Pink Lightning is my little clothing business. I have a website up and an Etsy. These things are positively meaningless. I've had a website before, and I've had an etsy account for ages. But you wanna know what is positively thrilling?! What makes this week different than last week? I now have customers! Squee! There are three people out there in the universe that like my sewing skills enough to have me make something for them. Ok, granted all three of those people are people I know personally (two are coworkers and the third is a close friend), but a girl has to start somewhere right?

Anywho, this is just the start. I want to get way more pieces on to the site and then I'm going to start marketing like a maniac. I'm hysterically excited, but I also have this weird panicky feeling in my chest. A tiny voice saying: 

"This is too risky. This is a waste of time. You'll look like a fool when you fail." 

I know that tiny voice is an idiot, but now and then that tiny voice has me quivering in my scuffed up combat boots.  So many times in the past I have given in to that little voice. It's held me back for so many years. But over the past year I have managed to find the confidence in myself and in my work to defeat it. But you know what helps so much? Knowing that my friends believe in me and want to see me succeed. And not just my “IRL” friends either. I use "IRL" for lack of a better term. Anyone reading this is as much of an in real life friend as anyone I've ever met in person. All you cool cats and kittens in the blogosphere, on tumblr, on facebook who have complimented the stuff I have made, you have no clue how much that makes my day. You don't know how many times I've wanted to give in and just let life lead me where it may, but a small off hand comment like "That's cute" or "Cool!" can turn things around for me. I've discovered the art of having confidence in myself, but sometimes I fall short. But you guys... *sniffle* you guys always bring me back to the top.

I don't have many vices, but the internet is definitely one of them. I certainly check my email too many times a day, and I've spent many an evening glued to Tumblr. But the internet has done for me something that no other vice could, it has connected me to some of the best people in the world. I know there are so many more of you out there, and I can't wait to meet you!

Channeling the Dark Queen

Here we have the thorned crown of the Fairy Queen of the Unseelie Court. Some say she's not evil, but merely misunderstood. Most beg to differ. Her servants just beg for mercy.

I made this headband for the fairytale punk clothing collection I'm working on. 

I'm so in love with it!

Currently available on my Etsy:  http://www.etsy.com/listing/72911536/dark-queen-spiked-headband?ref=pr_shop

Dreams Can Come True

So, I have this best friend. He's kind of a rockstar.

http://www.last.fm/music/Dizzy+the+punk+rapper

Or rapstar technically. I’ve known Mo for some years now, and one thing that he’s always been is dedicated to his dream. Which is tough, ‘cause when it’s your senior year of high school and people ask you what your plans are “I’m gonna be a rapper” is not what they want to hear. But he politely said fuck you to the naysayers and stayed on his grind. He knew that whether it took him to the top or the gutter, he had to do what he loved. And what he loved more than anything else was making music.


Now, his group Jupiter Express has performed in front of Def Jam and on 106 & Park. And this is only the beginning. I’m so happy for him that I could cry. But that would be insanely girly of me so I won’t.

He doesn’t take me seriously when I tell him this, but Mo is absolutely one of my biggest role models. He has a dream and he works relentlessly towards making it come true. Which is not something that I could always say about myself. But that changes now. I’ve always dreamed of being a fashion designer and eventually owning my own boutique. NOW is the time that I start to make that happen. I’m working on the website for my clothing line.  Every moment that I’m not at my “dayjob” I’ll be working, creating, and promoting my line until I’m the best and everyone knows it

Thank you Maurice for showing me that dreams can come true. But it takes more than wishing on stars, it takes hard work, dedication, and surviving on nothing but Ramen noodles for long periods of time.

Project 365 Awesome

This is my little vlog project. 

I've spent all my life dreaming, but this is my time to turn those dreams into a reality.

I've given myself one year to become a successful fashion designer, a rockstar, and to never have to go to the laundromat again. I'm a little over a month into the project, but I think I'm slowly but steadily making progress.

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Me and My Miniskirt

The other day, I was on my way to a friends house for movie watching fun times. Not to brag, but I was dressed pretty spiffy. I had on this really cool camouflage print pleated skirt with metal D rings that I made a few years ago, my combat boots, and some brightly colored thigh high socks. This friend of mines doesn't live in the best of neighborhoods. Granted, my neighborhood isn't exactly Mister Rogers territory either, but at least its turf with which I'm more familiar. The sun had set, and while walking along the darkened sidewalks I began to feel a tiny sense of panic. This sense of danger only lasted for a moment. My cell phone was at the ready, I was walking through a pretty public area, and was staying away from broken street lamps and dark alleys. But still I wondered, does walking down the street in my somewhat short skirt (as cute as it was) make me a target. Was my attempt at fashion a siren song for sexual assault. In my opinion no. From my experience creepers gonna creep and perverts gonna perve.

Believe me, I know this from experience. All up until about my eleventh grade year in high school I dressed rather homely. I had no control over my wardrobe and had to be content with whatever hand me downs and Ross junior section clearance items my mother put in my closet. My wardrobe consisted mostly of hand me down sweaters and baggy jeans with *gag* elastic waistbands. (Why did they even sell jeans with elastic waistbands in the junior section?!?!). Suffice it to say, that I was not much to look at. In no way shape or form could someone say that I was dressed provocatively. Even with this being the case, I had a great number of gag inducing run ins with men of the creeper persuasion.

 There was the time I was walking home from band practice (Band Geeks FTW) and a guy pulled over to ask me for directions. Me being the nice and somewhat naive young lady that I was, it wasn't until I was telling him that he needed to make a left on Eads street, that I realized that he had removed his member from his pants and was pleasuring himself. I don't know if this guy had a cartography fetish or some other kink involving maps and directions. Either way, I would have much preferred it if he masturbated to one of those soothing mapquest voices as opposed to burning the image of his member into the delicate retinas of my 15 year old self. This was the beginning of what was going to be quite an eventful few years. Guy masturbating in car, was followed by creepy guy at the 7 Eleven, old guys who hit on young girls at the bus stop, guy masturbating on the bus, and a whole slew of other colorful characters.

The next year I got my first part time job and used my little minimum wage salary to finally buy clothes that I liked. This was the year that I discovered hip huggers, and fitted tees. I was in heaven, or so I thought. Then one day on a crowded bus a teenage boy that I had never met or seen before, GRABBED MY BOOB before bolting out of the metro bus doorway. I was too stunned to react. I felt violated, exposed, embarrassed and angry. I didn't know if I wanted to scream or fall into tears. Part of me wanted to run off the bus and force the punk to explain himself, but most of me just wanted to hide. This being a somewhat jaded city, no one on the bus reacted to what happened. Although there was one elderly lady who looked at me and asked if I was alright. Unable to form words I gave a small nod and stared at the floor until the bus pulled up to my stop. Not knowing what else to do I told my mother what happened, hoping to get some love and support. Instead, she told me that this is the kind of response I would get for dressing the way I do. Feminine modesty is a big thing for my mother, and I know she meant well but telling a teenage girl that's it's her fault that she was sexually harassed is not a healthy thing. For a while I hid behind baggy clothes and muted colors, but it didn't stop the catcalling and inappropriate advances from men on the street. Eventually I realized that whether I hid behind over sized hoodies or wore skinny jeans, men on the street being inappropriate was just something that was going to happen. And hiding behind ugly clothing not only looked bad, but was completely ineffective. So that's why I rock my mini skirts. I refuse to let creepers dictate the way I live.

Combat Boot Magic

 Courtney Love, Tank Girl, Amanda Palmer, Daria, Kathleen Hannah. This is just a sampling of the women both real and fictional that inspire me to no end. And since the first time I saw Tank Girl wrap her legs around the cannon of a military tank I've been obsessed with wanting a pair of combat boots. I fell in love with the way Courtney Love wore her knee high combat boots with pastel baby doll dresses. It was as if she was saying "Yah, I'm a girl. I like feminine things, but I can still kick your ass!" So now I have a pair of my very own. I know it sounds a bit crazy, but every time I wear them I feel like I'm imbued with some of their power. I feel a bit stronger, a bit sexier, a bit weirder, and a bit more dangerous.

Sometimes people don't get why I'm so interested in fashion. They think it's trivial and shallow. They don't understand the magic of clothing. The clothes we wear have a transformative power. There is a definite magic to fashion. When we wriggle into dresses, slip on shoes, and don our accessories, we are telling the world who we are and who it is we want to be.

Do you feel different when wearing certain articles of clothing?